Heavenly Birthday Wishes For The Bezzie In Heaven!
Birthday Notes To Best Friend In Heaven_13/11/1977
Gone Too Soon😭
I never really thought this day would come. I never thought I would have to say goodbye to you so quickly. I never thought something like this could happen. You deserved more; you deserved more years to be happy and to be healthy. To live a better life you really deserved. Gosh, I wish I could have told you how much I appreciated the times you’d stick up for me. I didn’t realize how much of this I was lacking until I witnessed your tragic death. But, all those moments were gone and I’m still here wishing. You were an amazing and a selfless soul. It’s hard to say that in the past tense🙁 I am so sorry. I have the deepest regret for never expressing my admiration for your amazing qualities. I hope this letter shows something what I felt. You were combination of everything. It goes to show how awesome of a person you truly were. I’m sorry we couldn’t save you. (We don’t really know how they say that everyone enters our life for a reason? I wholeheartedly believe that to be true. I have met some of the most amazing souls who have a lasting impact on my life. They say I greatly impact their life. To be honest, they impacted mine. Each person has contributed to who I am in some way, shape, or form, and for that I am grateful.). I clearly know you valued my friendship like a treasure. You treated me like a godfather for shaping you well from your steaming nature to calm nature. But only after your death through dodo, I realized a few things like how you people on the whole valued and cherished my presence like a daughter, like a sister as you ever do directly or indirectly even by being miles away. I was literally in tears for not knowing anything about this. I don’t know what did I do to deserve to take room in such genuine hearts of gold.
During my disastrous phase😰
I still remember those days how we became friends though I knew you earlier as my closest family. After my disastrous experience with the people who I thought were going to be my lifebelt, quickly became the holes in my lifeboat. Life, became complete, utter disappointments. Everyone seemed to be a cheat. Anything else seemed to be disaster and unwelcome. But those are the times that helped me reshape myself to the optimum version of mine. On days like that my sadness was a hunger, eating up anything that could rouse my mood or move my emotional needle, buried at zero. I was really very irritated with everyone like they were all fake and with every little thing because of my past trauma since I was betrayed by trust in an unspeakable manner. During that time, I was very vigilant and rigid to the core and I was cautiously kicking everyone out for the best of my defense to the core of my self protection and also I was very aware that I or any of my folks should not want to get into anymore such foul dramas that cheap sick minded creatures create. So I built the most highest and the strongest defensive wall from people during those toughest battles, not only with you but that was the time I never allowed anyone into my personal space to function in the face of tragedy, as you knew. But it was very spontaneous and unprepared.
Matured friendship🤝
Nevertheless, but you played along excellently though we were working through our own very different struggles, not breaking the flow by learning your boundaries with me and with everyone by maintaining your dignity and decorousness and to this day I am surprised at how well you handled the situation in a matured manner. You always found a reason to stay and try again. You patiently dealt with me and had never ever given up on me even when I treated everyone like a cheat and villain in a fear and anxiety. But you maintained your decorum and a thin line with a high dignity in our friendship. It could never be more decent than this. Your gentle and matured friendship taught me to rely on people again which something I thought that could happen and I could never trust anyone again anymore in my life after such disaster. After points I realized what an amazing soul spirit you were. True friends have truly become a rarity these days. Especially finding friends with the same mental sickness is the greatest blessing of all and I had one too. We resonated well. We had no demands, no complains. We did not do anything to impress or please people but did everything from the bottom of heart. You were real, selfless and spontaneous; you never ever hid your original front to gain others, be it good or bad and that openness and your gentle behaviours with a friendly and brotherly concern calmed my wheeling spirit and comforted to have trust in good people though I had some sort of fear and considerations about the bloody mouths that talk only bullshits of others without knowing what oneself is going through, on the flip side of smile. These days I never even bother about some species are still alive at all but I am true to myself and myself alone. I live my BEST life without bothering about what any one else is thinking of me.
Your unique spirited personality😶
When we are best friends with someone truly, their gender becomes the last thing on our mind. I felt that. I felt safe with you that I am not played or manipulated. I felt safe to talk anything and everything and be myself. I am really thankful for the people who introduced you to me. Later on, this incident, and many like it, became the milestones of our beautiful friendship and we remembered each one with a smile, having known that we have come a long way. We shared similar interests, tastes, sense of humor, values, philosophies etc. We are open and natural beings. We are multi-faceted beings. We are not people pleasers. We value genuine people. We used to keep ourselves busy with doing things that inspired and crafted a positive and purposeful life instead of burying into any stereotype sentiments, in times of worst. We used to share our positivity, wisdom, experiences, and so many depth-talks. All about fascinated stuffs.We exchanged thoughts, ideas. I really miss those sharing and caring in your fascinated tone. What an ideal and unique spirit you were. You used to tell me that I am an extraordinary woman with lots of qualities yet remain to be a simple, calm, silent and an unsung person. Honestly, It’s you who possesed a very many talents in you yet were very humble and submissive in manners. Your paintings speak for yourself, your sense of photography speaks for yourself, beyond everything, your fascination towards Zamins culture… and people you earned during your curious search about it.. what else to say…? But I am so thankful that I caved into your radiant personality every time. Where can I find such a person again? Not anymore. Gone too soon😔.
Your battles with health and your undervalued worth😔
I feel terribly sad and It’s real unfortunate that some people happened to see only the thorny side of you. In the war of life, they had failed to understand that nobody is completely perfect, even we are not and failed to give some space and time to fix things and see the real sweetness in you like a jackfruit, till the last, till the last. But I understand everyone has their own reasons and justifications for their side of facts and I equally respect that. But you also deserve, good health, respect, care, kindness and everything else you were unselfishly pouring onto others. Aftertimes, your health was the major flex that later turned you into your terrible battle for your everyday life. But you never ever failed to face it up with a cup of charm, positivity and your iconic smile on face and made sure that you would live that day to the fullest that you could. You worked hard to make others happy, but never lost sight of what made you happy — which mostly went hand in hand with making others happy. You always had a great friend souls around you like a pillar to protect you to hug you and to give a real care whenever is needed. I extremely feel so heavyhearted for all the struggles you were going through in your life mentally and physically. You endured an extremely unbearable pain in the long run but still you always managed to keep your head high and to wear your signature smile on face is what made you an outstanding personality. Nobody would have survived with such struggles and health conditions to this long but you stood up tall in spite of your terrible battles. We tried our best to smoothen the blow of your pain that you endured silently. We tried our best to comfort you from the pain though we couldn’t take away your pain. At least I am happy that I could contribute a little bit in shaping your good side and spread some positivity and happiness in you during your last crucial phase of life.
You read highs and lows of others well🙏
Honestly, I thought and believed I was the very strongest person who was cheering you up ever from the behind as you ever said. But, indeed, It’s you who did all those things to me from my back, I realize it now. It took losing you to realise what an amazing friendship we had. You sensed my sadness and pain and made every attempt to ease it up even when I never ever expressed in words and I desperately pushed and stayed away from everyone while handling my bad times on my own since I didn’t want anyone to see my lows and spoil the strong image I have built on myself like a strong person. There were still days where I doubted my existence and my purpose on this earth. I would begin to lose myself. I’ll never forget that you were there for me, even when my dad died, that was definitely the hardest period of my life and you knew why, because that was such a bad and terrible moment while I had already been struggling to overcome the pain of betrayal in matrimony, another greater disaster in my life which left me behind with nothing but a densed dark place at zero stage, and of course, even then you were there for me like a pillar and supported me a lot through my grief. It was so comforting and always helped when I was feeling a little sadder than other days. The only one who knew me so deeply even when I never opened up and chose to value me ever so proudly. You knew me better than I knew myself. I have to admit that I often catch myself wondering what I did to deserve your such appreciation on my worth. You always valued my words, my friendship like a treasure. But honestly I have to thank you for making me believe in the goodness of people through you while I have lost all my hopes about goodness in people. Although we couldn’t speak a few things some times, you always knew the perfect things to do to let me know that you understood, and you cared and made me realize what it means to have somebody who genuinely cares about us. In this cold world, we all need more people like you, with your positive energy and your giggly sense of humor. I wish I could turn back time and watch you come back, happy and HEALTHY. I am trying so hard to tell myself that you are happy and healthy now. I know that you are at peace and that you are no longer suffering. I know that you know we made every attempt to save you from this fate. But I am sorry that we couldn’t save you. I wish I never took for granted the little things that you did and the moments we shared though we were a long distance friends. You and your family cared for me so much and used to send something like book, homemade medicines, and other homemade products out of pure unconditional affection that I have always scolded you for, yet you people would not stop doing that. You gave me a brotherly fatherly concern and walked extra miles to comfort me. Now I understand why people say that you never really cherish a moment until it becomes a memory.
Making the best out of life when we are still available🫂
(There are no instructions for when you lose someone. So cherish every single moment. I have learned to make more time for the people I care about, even if it’s five minutes. Whether it be a text or phone call, I make the time now. Tell your family and friends you love them often. If you argue, make up. Don’t hold grudges. If you have something to say, say it. Because having regrets can be unbearable. Show your appreciation to those who deserve it and never ever take advantage of anyone. Haven’t spoke to someone in a while? Then make the first move, it’s OK to not be in constant contact with friends and family. Life happens and can sometimes get overwhelming but don’t forget those who love you. Take photographs and lots of them. Just don’t ever let it take you away from the moment. Those moments are there for the good memories. The best memories. Most importantly BE KIND. No one ever said they regret being kind for you never know what’s around the corner.)
Nothing will ever replace you, and there is nothing I could say or do to thank you enough for your valuable friendship. You are an amazing gentle soul.
We miss you beyond words.😥
May your soul rest in peace in the heaven. Happy heavenly birthday!!!
Forever,
Your Best Friend.😥💔
– Manimozhi ilango
My Fatty Brain Cell 