Common Sense Is Not So Common After All!🌹💪
I am a kind, loving, nurturing, vibrant and empathetic woman who often gets labeled as “soft.” When I hear people call me this, it makes a piece of me funk. Not because I don’t think that I have a multitude of qualities that a “soft” person carries. I am understanding. I am patient. Compassion lives in my own skin and blood. I believe in kindness above all. When I see others hurting, I hurt. What bothers me about being labeled “soft” is that it undermines my strength, my courage, my independence, my fire, my potential. I know I am not alone in this. This is not that I am a feminist either. I am a realist. But I often hear women being put into a box labeled with this word. It has proposed some questions in me, left me with a speculation of what it is to be a soft woman.🙄
Are we, soft when we have the flesh of our abuser’s skin under our fingernails as we fight our way back to safety? Are we soft when we arrive at the place called sunbaked rockstone, walking with our heads high and the fire inside of us burning while some people betray us? Are we soft when we leave unfaithful relationships and start our lives from zero? Are we soft when we believe in the goodness of others’ so much that they punches us in the back badly and we get all the pieces back together after the terrible hit? Are we soft when we walk away, even when it is the hardest thing we have ever done? Are we soft when after it all, we choose to love and love and love, to open our brave hearts again and again and again?… But yes, I am soft because I am strong. I am strong because I am soft. Embodying one of these qualities does not equate to a lack of the other. To be soft is not to be a pushover. To be soft is not to be passive. To be soft is not to walk through life with a lack of assertiveness. To be soft is not to have no boundaries. When someone calls me soft, I giggle and ask myself, “Don’t they know that my softness is my strength? Don’t they know I have walked on a terrible path of broken glass and have been bled my way to my softness though I had an easy path full of flowers and lived like a princess with my parents?… Yes, I am soft but strong and sharp edged. Softness is not weakness but cruelty is real weakness! 🤝
Honestly, I face everyday with a smile. In the war of life, I won me. We can still start over again at 30s or at 40s or even may be at 50s. I feel the right time to start anything again is now. But we are not the same person we used to be ten years ago or a 10 minutes ago. Always we learn and grow. Life moulds us in every bit of it. I don’t waste my time trying to prove myself to everyone or please everyone like bees never want to explain to flies that the honey is better than the shit. My silence means I really don’t be surprised by people run their circus. but I notice every detail. Just live my life honestly within my boundaries. Associate myself with positive, vibrant and like minded people who lift others. I have also learned that some people can still be average, all they know is to judge others without even knowing what a person is going through. The sharpest critics, are most often the ones who are blind to their own shortcomings and mistakes. One thing that helped me build my confidence and that I still work on today, is walking with my head up high. I don’t go around thinking what everyone else is thinking about me. I don’t bother about judgemental people. Before riding a self righteous high horse and accusing others of what they think others do wrong or dictating others what one should do or how their life should be if the critics must look in the mirror and examine their own back, I assure they can’t even handle a single drop of their own medicine. Anyway I respectfully dont care.😡
Remember, everyone has a different story. Life is not a fairy – tale to everyone, not the same for everyone. For some, it’s a bed of flowers and for some, it’s a bed of thorns and that’s fine. But before judging a person’s s life, their past, their character, I would suggest such mean people should just walk in a person’s own shoes before poking into their personal affairs and criticize them unfairly and put them down or brand them like they are rude, cruel, soft, weak lobh lobh lobh. Just walk the path they have traveled, live their sorrow, their doubts, their fear, their pain and their laughter. Words – So powerful. They can crush a heart, or heal it. They can shatter dreams, or energize them. Not everyone can handle it. Hence people should have to learn to use words wisely. It is easy to comment on other’s life But being single and strong for so long is not so easy to stand alone and stay strong for a long time among wolves and liars. It needs a lot of guts and courage to be fair in this world full of cruel people. I don’t need anyone to stand by me. I am already strong enough to make things on hand. I won’t let anyone question my worth, because I know my values and what I bring to the table. I live in my own terms otherwise. I am living the present moment from where I am and with what I have. I always make it a point to smile and lift the fallen because we never know who’s day we might brighten up by lifting the fallen and making people happy for no reason and I am happy with it. It makes my life journey more beautiful. I don’t need anyone’s approval for that. Healthiest thing ever.🌹🤗
– Manimozhi Ilango
My Fatty Brain Cell 