I Am More Life-Sensitive. We cannot see a clear view in boiling water, similarly we cannot see the truth in anger. When water calms, clarity comes. We should never let us die out of our ego, anger, grudges, arrogance and other evil traits. Instead, change the approach and be more life-sensitive. There are so many quality tools to live a quality life and one of those is : Detachment.
I detach my identity from family, community, social class and gender to find my true authentic self. I detach myself from things and flow with things. I attach more intensely to the subject that matters to me and draws my interest. I would post-mortem any topic that interests me. I think, think and may end up with overthinking, get a headache and still think and enjoy the process of thinking. I read a lot, and try to join dots from anywhere to anywhere and get lost in thinking. The universe has a lot of most interesting experiments and answers in it if at all we are curious to ask questions.
I like spending more time with intellectual people or a very closed group of people. I quickly identify people with high Intellect and enjoy talking to them. I have a tendency to get bored in crowds and polluted places easily. But feel lively in nature though and engage with life more intensely. I feel alone time or solitude is powerful. I am opinionated but don’t come to conclusions easily. I find infinite ways to justify and analyze one matter. I never see the dead ends. Never force, never impose.
I have diverse interests and perception towards different places, different people and different cultures. I go beyond the boundaries of my own that makes me more humble and human. I used to get into depression for being less socially acceptable as I used to think that I am unfit to this society to live up to its definitions but later point I understand that there is nothing that is acceptable or not-acceptable, instead, our approach really matters and how we see ourselves than how others see really matters alot.
I often tend to get bored with people without depth. I accept other people’s ideas with more ease. I love my own company but at times am self destructive. I work constantly on self improvement rather than on criticizing and judging anyone. I consider myself trivial. I have an endless curiosity and have high existential tidings. I am never proud of good looks, good skin, money and materials. I don’t shame people who take pride in those things but don’t feel great about it either.
I used to try hard to make my points simpler and better only to be understood, accepted and loved during my early adulthood. Later I understand that I don’t need validation. I get few loyal friends who believe me. I don’t have a huge group of casual friends to hang out with; I have finger counted great friends and best friends who can get extreme highs without any drugs or alcohol.
I will let you win rather than waste time to prove myself right because I very quickly understand people’s level of intelligence and understanding. Once I understand I can’t understand them or do any fixes with them I will never never force, never impose. I have low ego but I understand realities. Hope you enjoyed reading what I feel and think. Read and think and then learn, unlearn and think.
If we have to sum it up in one word then it’s “Thinking” and “observing” and “solving” that’s what they want to do all day.
Let us be more life-sensitive than ego-sensitive.💐
-Manimozhi Ilango
My Fatty Brain Cell 